Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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