what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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