did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Two words: nipple clamps
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