its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
