eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize