i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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