I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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