Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
