Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if only i could text you this smell
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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