Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
