we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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