So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
