She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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