How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
