Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize