How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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