so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
