Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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