Sry I called you an 8
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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