Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
