He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
