I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Terrible idea I love it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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