there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
