Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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