what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
