I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
