some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
