He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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