So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
