Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
