Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
