went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
