Who wears a wallet chain?!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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