How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
