No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
