Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
