did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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