The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
