why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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