I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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