I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
