Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
