can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
