I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
