Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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