he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
