Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
