i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
