your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
