dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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