Someone shit on the floor
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
