My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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