garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I faked an abortion last night.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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