So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
