the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize