my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I understand Curling. That high.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
