Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
