Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
