You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
