His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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