Its about making memories worth repressing
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
