Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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