My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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