The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
