i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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