Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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