If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
