I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
