youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
