i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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