New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
